I have a confession to make. I’ve run so many of these contests, and have read so many strange books, that I gave up on this. Instead, I handed your entries over to Intern Kathleen, and she chose the winners. She also chose some honorable mentions, who will win nothing save the eternal glory of having their screen names mentioned on the Internet. Anyway, take it away Intern Kathleen!

She’s smiling only because it’s a paid internship.

Kathleen’s Top Four:

Carl T. - for his spot-on description of reading James Joyces’s Finnegans Wake - “like trying to read the Bible while overdosing on LSD.” I tip my hat to you, sir.

Jospeh T. regaled us with an uncanny reading of The Tale of Samuel Whiskers or The Roly-Poly Pudding by Beatrix Potter which “combines the horror of Poe with the thrilling vengeance of Dumas,” and will be sure to stir up the residual trauma of childhood.

NF - After reading your review of After Comma, I too can’t help but wonder - “What’s in a dash?” For indeed, who needs paragraphs when you can read about “protein shenanigans” - if you can get your hands on a copy, that is…

And finally, 3.14… cheers for the awesome and surreal monolithic epic Codex Seraphinaus! As Seth E. puts it, “it just is.”

And now, the honorable mentions…

Honorable Mentions:
-Adam B for making up one of his own strange reads, for which I award him 2 cuils.

-SemperMen’s Spanish account of what I believe to be Fifty Shades of Grey, which thanks to Google Translate resulted in a hilarious meta-translation on or about the realm of 3 cuils.

-Komavary, way to Tarantino your way through Gólyakalifa!